In a video interview with Donal Ware of BOXTOROW (hat tip to The Associated Press), new Clippers guard John Wall revealed that he contemplated taking his own life after a series of personal tragedies.
“Darkest place I’ve ever been in,” Wall said of the past few years. “At one point in time, I thought about committing suicide. I mean, just tearing my Achilles, my mom being sick, my mom passing, my grandma passed a year later, all this in the midst of COVID and at the same time, me going to chemotherapy, me sitting by my mom taking her last breaths wearing the same clothes for three days straight laying on the couch beside her.”
Wall tore his Achilles tendon in January 2019 when he slipped and fell in his home. According to the AP, Wall’s mother passed away in December 2019 after battling breast cancer.
The five-time All-Star said the support of his team and the mother of his two boys helped him get through the dark times. He also said his children helped motivate him.
“I’m looking at all that and I’m like, ‘If I can get through this, I can get through anything in life,'” he said. “And I don’t like to brag about it because everybody goes through something. We’re all going through times, nobody’s got it easy, but I don’t think a lot of people could get through what I went through.
“And to me to get back on top where I want to be and seeing the fans still want me to play, having the support from my hometown, this important period means a lot. There was a time when I had to go find a therapist. A lot of people think, ‘I don’t need help, I can get through it at anytime,’ but you’ve got to be true to yourself and find out what’s best for you.”
Despite the extremely challenging events of the recent past, Wall said he’s feeling better these days and is excited to play basketball again.
“Even though I was in a dark place the last couple years, I’m super excited and you can kinda tell, I’m smiling a lot more, all those types of things,” Wall said. “… I get an opportunity to play with two great players and the sky’s the limit.”
Wall signed a two-year, $13MM+ contract this offseason with the Clippers after being bought out by the Rockets. He’s expected to be part of a deep L.A. rotation led by star forwards Kawhi Leonard and Paul George.
How can you not root for the guy after this? Always thought he was a tremendous talent. Hope he does well in LA
He didn’t look sad partying with gangbangers over the past few years.
He misses feeling like he was important when he was on a bad team, putting up big stats and being paid huge for it.
Bro. Shut up.
Facts! Bro! Tired of people being quiet about how the Gang Culture is killing kids all day, everyday throughout the streets of America.
I live in Chicago!!! I see EVERY day what this crap has done to our people. Sick and Tired of people trying to make this crap “cool”.
Those Dead from Gang Violence Don’t Come Back!
No Sympathy For Those That Promote This Lifestyle!!! Don’t Care Where He Is From! He is old enough to know better!
@Very
Fam.. those might be people he grew up with. I’ve never seen him promoting gang culture, throwing up his set, nor committing crimes. I have seen him doing charitable works and telling kids to do the right thing. Maybe Jr should ne better about who he’s seen with but that’s not promoting gang culture. And if he’s playing on a bad team getting paid then that’s not his fault for accepting the money offered.
@Very Barry, I live in Pittsburgh. We get -zero- details about the NBA here, let alone their personal lives
I saw Wall on a couple news talk shows discussing charities he was fronting in the DC area. I followed his career at UK and NBA, watched his play and listened to his sound bytes. And then, this article (above) hits. That’s all of my knowledge of John Wall, and all I care to discuss
However, as someone who taught and coached in inner city schools for 30 years, I I understand your concerns. Given the substance of this particular article however, I just don’t think they belong here
“He didn’t look very sad partying”
Yeah, depressed people never use substances to try to get out of their funk. . Pretty much ever.
You need to get out of the house every once in a while.
Lmaooo join the club bro. Contemplations are a part of life lol
Come on bro….Really?
Yeah really. Does the truth scare you bro?? It’s life dude.
I feel for you bro. I think every young person has thought about it. Late teens early twenties man or woman. It’s like screw this nobody cares about me I’m out. Thankfully we hold on and give it a go and thankfully good people are in our corner. Thanks for sharing.
Mental illness, depression, or suicidal thoughts are all very serious and not to be taken lightly. However self pity or ungratefulness is another matter. JW needs to understand there are billions of people who are going thru much tougher hardship and suffering. The other thing is hopefully he’s not using this to get attention and sympathy.
In the span of three years he ruptured his achilles, lost his mom to cancer at a young age after growing up in a single parent household then a year later lost his grandmother.
I understand that lots of people deal with similar problems everyday but that’s still pretty traumatic.
And made ~$120M. Poor him.
the same people that say money doesn’t buy happiness say the same bs as you @bill. if money really doesn’t buy happiness (which it doesn’t) then what’s your argument for this? moneys a great thing yes, but i’d rather have my mom alive than millions of dollars. stop whining, everyone goes through struggle, even the people on top. not everything’s so black and white, so grow up.
Bill people with huge salaries go through the same crap we do. In fact they have MORE crap on their plate because all their relatives and friends are leaning on them every time there’s an event or going out to eat or an issue comes up that involves expenses.
“Oh Wall’s got money, he’ll pay” and of course he usually does. It’s a tough spot to be in with so much on their shoulders that actually guys like John Wall who make a truckload of money have way more weight on their shoulders and LESS people to lean on when they themselves need help. They’re usually the “leaned on,” and sometimes that pressure can get to someone.
Dude just because other people are going through harder stuff it doesn’t mean Wall’s feelings aren’t valid. It’s fruitless and dumb to rank suffering like you’re trying to do.
This comment section is why nobody feels comfortable disclosing the status of their mental health: judgement
Most of us here are good people and understand and won’t rake you over the coals. If they do then oh well there’s 10 more people of support for every 1 who makes fun.
I love this site.. you’ve got all the opinions and even though sometimes we let it loose and rip into someone, in the end it’s forgotten and we move on. Everybody’s entitled to their opinion, to agree or disagree, and we go from there.
I have respect for everyone here because you know what, bottom line is there’s a reason they have the opinion that they do. I may not understand that reason, but I have to respect it.
Let me guess: there’s already been a bunch of (rightfully) deleted comments?
On this topic.. I don’t think so yet.
Yeah, some pretty backwards people around these parts.
Suicidal ideation is extremely common and can have a profound effect on one’s life. Help should be sought, but it’s not the same as being suicidal.
Came here to say exactly that. Obviously, it does not change the fact that Wall endured difficult personal circumstances and was courageous to speak about it so openly.
I’ll probably take some flak for this comment but here goes.
First, let me just say that I feel for Wall and what he went through. That’s a lot for any person to go through in a short period of time, and being famous or insanely wealthy do little to shield anyone from that. For him to talk openly about it must have been tough.
That said, the following line rubbed me the wrong way: “We’re all going through times, nobody’s got it easy, but I don’t think a lot of people could get through what I went through.”
I get the way he framed this ordeal in the mind: that he conquered a difficult set of circumstances and should feel good about that. That’s fine. The thing is, when you make a statement like this you turn it into a unnecessary comparison. And the fact of the matter is, even if money and connections don’t prevent such struggles, they DO provide certain advantages that your average person may not be able to take advantage of.
What happened to Wall—prolonged deaths in the family, injuries—unfortunately happen to a great number of folks. So to make his situation sound somehow unique is a slap in the face to the many folks who have faced similar challenges or worse. And, unlike Wall, some of us struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts our whole lives. It’s not simply confined to painful personal events. I would kill to be able to cleanly move past it like a Hollywood ending.
I’m sure he didn’t mean for his comment to be interpreted as such and he was speaking off the cuff, so I’m not going to make this into a big thing. But I am glad he’s in a better place now. The folks who think the rich and famous aren’t qualified to talk about such issues are jerks.
Great post, so many valid points Shea.
Thanks!
Why did he have to be a starter instead of a role player at Houston ?? It would have been awesome if he had traveled with the team, attend practices, ce off the bench for few minutes, and mentor the young kids …
Yes that would be a tremendous benefit for the team but the Rockets were tanking this year. They didn’t want a good influence on the kids or instruction or whatever. John going home was part of the plan.
At the end of the day, JW has a perfect opportunity playing for Clippers. He has a nice contract, major city, major contender. If he blows this opportunity, it’s on him. Now that he’s healthy, he needs to do whatever Lue and the team needs him to do, instead of an ego trip.
@Michol
That wasn’t his call. The team wanted to sit him. Sort of made sense I guess. I don’t think they wanted him to play for several reasons. Try and keep him healthy so he can be traded. They were tanking. Maybe they didn’t want him to play any role in playing with KP Jr or Green?? Not sure if he would’ve been a negative effect on them but I think they truly felt they could move him instead of buying him out.
KnicksCavs, yes exactly I think you nailed it.
Yes they had mutual agreement. With the new coach and young players, they wanted to establish new culture and leadership for their future. That being said, there was some talk in midseason that he wanted to play. The team was open to the idea only as a role player but JW turned in down. He only wanted to START. This is fact.
Optimus Dime you are a legend, hopefully all will work out well for you, man!
He was the catalyst for the best ball Houston played last season. Porter Jr is a toxic influence on that team who is a chucker as well. I wish Wall the best. He makes guys better. Beal had his just success when John was running the point in Washington
Good to see so much empathy on here, damn. Whether you like John Wall or his life choices, he clearly has dealt with hurt. Sure, everybody does or somebody has it worse, but that doesn’t make his pain any less real. I wish ppl would get over the fact that it isn’t a competition and it’s about helping and uplifting others. He probably thought it might be helpful for others to hear what he went through bc ppl do commit suicide or remain depressed. I think he’s trying to bring awareness, not attention.